Be Thankful For...
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The birds that sing in the morning,
because it means they're eating the grass seed you bought to sew your lawn
with, and the evidence will be on your car windshield when you go to work.
-
The car that cuts you off this
morning on the freeway, as that means your heart will now be racing for
the next 30 seconds, and that means you won't fall asleep at the wheel
and cut someone else off.
-
The last parking spot, that
allows you just enough space to park your car, but not enough room to open
either door, because this means you will get your free aerobics work out,
when you crawl out your window and beat the hell out of the two guys laughing
their asses off, and pointing at you, when you get in the building.
-
The bitching and whining of
your boss each morning when he discovers he's screwed up once again, and
he's heading your way, because this means he needs you to bale his ass
out again, so you'll have a job for yet another day.
-
The grumbling of your co-workers,
because this means they are putting up with the same shit you are, and
you're no worse off than they are.
-
The empty coffee pot you find
when you go for a cup, because this means you get to make it again, and
the jokers you work with, will not have the opportunity to play a prank
on you, when they spike the coffee with Liquid Drano or Exlax.
-
The pile of papers you find
on your desk each morning, because this means you are the only member of
your floor who completed the third grade, and are capable of doing this
work, which also means you are badly needed, and possibly appreciated.
-
The snickering you hear in the
other offices while you are doing their work, because this means
you have made other's lives happy and complete, while your boss wonders
why you can never seem to clear your desk.
-
The hour break you get for lunch
each day, because this means, you'll have plenty of time, to eat,
when the guy at the window at McDonalds, shovels your first order out window
and onto the ground and you have to drive around and place your order all
over again.
-
The wad of gum you find in your
chair AFTER you sit down, back at work after lunch, because this again,
brings chuckles to the people in the other offices, which means your presence
bring happiness and laughter to the workplace once more.
-
The copy machine, and the fax
machine, for simplifying your life, by taking 20 minutes to fax or copy
an item, you could re-type in 20 seconds, had you not run out of paper,
or had to adjust the dark and lightness control because of thoughtful others
who are again laughing in the break room while you fumble to reset these
tools to normal settings.
-
The time clock as it swallows
your time card on your way out each Friday, because this means you get
to brownie up to the boss as you explain that you were actually here all
week, and that you don't know why your card was eaten by that machine again,
for the fourth week in a row.
-
The ride back home again, because
this means you have survived another blessed day, and you will be allowed
the pleasure of doing it all again tomorrow, to brighten your job place,
and to make more friends, and help others learn to love you.
-
Your job, because nobody else
wants it, can do it, nor can they find another idiot like you, to do it.
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