Best
Ways To Confuse Santa Claus

-
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him
a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a
few pounds.
-
While he's in the house, go find his sleigh
and write him a speeding ticket.
-
Leave him a note, explaining that you've
gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
-
While he's in the house, replace all his
reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries
to get them to fly.
-
Keep an angry bull in your living room.
If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until
he sees that big, red Santa suit!
-
Build an army of mean looking snowmen on
the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
-
Leave a note by the telephone, telling
Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk
and a loaf of bread on his way home.
-
While he's in the house, find the sleigh
and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he
shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
-
Leave a plate filled with cookies and a
glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave
another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk
in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa. :("
-
Take everything out of your house as if
it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman
and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
-
Leave out a copy of your Christmas list
with last minute changes and corrections.
-
While he's in the house, cover the top
of the chimney with barbed wire.
-
Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns
out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer!
And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
-
Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've
moved. Include a map with unclear and hard to read directions to your new
house.
-
Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney.
Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry,
but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
-
Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry cleaning
bill.
-
Paint "hoof prints" all over your face
and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes
back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.
-
Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree
with Easter eggs.
-
Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for
Santa to come and then say, "This neighbourhood ain't big enough for the
both of us."
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