1) You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk
2) The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
3) You were shooting pool when any of your children were born.
4) Your school fight song was "Duelling Banjos."
5) Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
6) You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
7) You clean your fingernails with a stick.
8) You've ever hit a deer with your car, deliberately.
9) Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
10) You keep a can of RAID on your kitchen table.
11) You've totalled every car you've ever owned
12) There has ever been crime scene tape on your bathroom door.
13) You ever got too drunk to fish.
14) You consider the fifth grade your senior year.
15) Directions to your house include, "Turn off the paved road."
16) The dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
17) Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
18) You think the French Riviera is a foreign car
19) You prefer car keys to Q-Tips.
20) You've ever financed a tattoo.
21) The gas pedal in your car is shaped like a bare foot.
22) You've ever bought a used hat.
23) You've ever been involved in a custody fight, over a dog.
24) You're considered an expert on worm beds
25) You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
26) Your stove is on the porch and your lawn chairs are in the kitchen.
27) "Bambi" made you hungry for rabbit.
28) You learned to drive in a monster truck.
29) You spit chewing tobacco in house plants.
30) Your wedding reception included a beer brunch.
31) You believe books are bad luck.
32) You believe professional wrestling should be an Olympic competition.
33) You believe professional wrestling!
34) You recycle motor oil by moving it from the car to the truck.
35) You think a "thesaurus" was the dinosaur in Lost World.