You only own three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.

You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.

The mosquitoes have landing lights.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.

You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is three feet
above the ground.

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled
with snow.

You think everyone from the city has an accent.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with
only 8 buttons.

You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on l/4
page, but requires 6 pages for sports.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.

You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.

You head south to go to your cottage.

You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't
prowl on  your deck.

The mayor greets you on the street by your first
name.

There is only one shopping plaza in town.

The major parish fundraiser isn't bingo - its sausage making.

You find -40C a little chilly.

The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest
jewellery and  your Sorrels.

You can play road hockey on skates.

Shovelling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.

You know the 4 seasons are: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter,
and Black flies.

The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.

You actually 'get' these jokes, and forward them to all your Northern
friends.