Simple Rules Chicks Don't Know
1.Nothing says 'I love you' like a blowjob in the morning.
2.Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it
down.
3.Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4.Don't make us guess.
5.If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.
6.Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with
it.
7.He's never thinking about "The Relationship."
8.Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
9.Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10.Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.
11.Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.
12.Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13.You have enough clothes.
14.You have too many shoes.
15.Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't
expect us to like it.
16.Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is
an idiot and your Dad probably is too.
17.Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
18.No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will.
Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
19.Share the bathroom.
20.Share the closet.
21.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
23.Nothing says 'I love you' like a blowjob in the
morning.
24.Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25.Check your oil.
26.Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27.Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than
deceived.
28.It is neither your interest nor ours to take the
quiz together.
29.Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible
in an argument.
All comments become null and void after 7 days.
30.If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
31.If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32.Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how
can we know how pretty you are?
33.Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie
to come out.
34.You can either ask us to do something OR tell us
how you want it done -not both.
35.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
to say during commercials.
36.Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and
neither do we.
37.Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose
their right to complain about having their boobs stared at
38.When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing
onto the off-ramp, you saying, "This is our exit," is not strictly necessary.
39.Nothing says 'I love you' quite like a blowjob
in the morning.
Stumble It!