| Zodiac condoms
So which condom is your choice ?? Now you can pick
the condom just right for your sign!
Scorpio condoms outsell all others. That's probably because people try
to impress each other with their sexual prowess by pretending that they're
a Scorpio. The truth is that no right thinking Scorpio would get caught
dead wearing a condom. But then death doesn't scare a Scorpio. And a Scorpio
doesn't get caught. Scorpio condoms come in two editions, basic black and
the stealthy invisible model. Both leather and studs are optional. Also,
because propriety concerns Scorpio, each package of Scorpio condoms comes
with a preprinted, pre coital agreement. Symbolized by the venomous Scorpion.
When you really want to
sting your lover, you want a Scorpio condom.
Sagittarians are known for their worldly pursuits, gamesmanship, cosmopolitan
attitude and knack for doing things in a big way. Sagittarian condoms are
the sportier models. They come equipped with travel cases. Sagittarian
condoms are the ones that go with you and grow with you. They promise a
lot and they are extra thick to protect against fluids of a dubious nature.
The archer symbolizes Sagittarius.
When you want to be on target
with Cupid's arrows, you want a Sagittarius condom.
Capricorns are known for their longevity, wisdom, practicality, ambition
and earthy sensuality. Capricorns tend to be on the conservative side.
Capricorn condoms are the most durable, having the longest shelf life.
Capricorn condoms are extra strong to last extra long. With Capricorn condoms,
wing tips, pin stripes and brief cases are optional. Be sure to shake them
out from time to time, otherwise they go stale. Capricorn is the sign of
the mountain goat.
When you're horny enough
to climb the mountains of love, you want a Capricorn condom.
Aquarians are gregarious, yet aloof. Aquarius is a high energy sign, and
one that is usually politically correct. Aquarian condoms are just a little
bit kinky. They come colored hot pink and electric blue, and they come
with a battery pack to light up in the dark and French ticklers for extra
stimulation. With Aquarius condoms, the packaging features political slogans
such as the MiXXe Maxim, "Things can change overnight; it depends upon
how late you stay up and with whom doing what." Since Aquarius is a social
sign Aquarian condoms come in multipacks and are detachable to share with
your friends. Aquarius is the sign of the water bearer.
When your love juices really
get to flowing, you want an Aquarius condom.
Pisces is known for their deep feelings that somewhat border on mysticism.
Pisces are idealistic, sometimes to the point of ecstatic bliss. Pisces
condoms are truly extra sensitive and translucent. Little spikes are optional
on the inside. Pisces condoms contain special instructions for erotic fantasy
games. Pisces is the sign of the fishes.
When it smells like love
and you're on a seafood diet, you want a Pisces condom.
Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. Aries are action oriented people.
Aries is symbolized by the ram, so naturally Aries condoms are made from
the finest lambskin. Because Aries often exhibits a "get up and go" attitude,
Aries condoms are steel belted, feature racing stripes, and every fully
equipped sports car dispenses them. Onyx packaging is optional for the
black sheep. Aries prides themselves on being first and best. Aries condoms
are perfect for quickies.
When you want what you want
when you want it, you want an Aries condom.
Taurus is perhaps the most sensual and economy minded of the astrological
signs. Taurus condoms are made from the most luxurious materials with special
models available in silk and velvet. Taurus condoms give you quality at
an affordable price, and they're frequently on sale. Taurians may be slow
to make their minds, but once they've made a decision, they're almost impossible
to stop. When your love is a sure thing, you want a Taurus condom. The
bull symbolizes Taurus.
Taurus condoms are the ones
you want when you're really horny.
Geminis are known for their versatility, intellect and communications skills.
Accordingly, Gemini condoms accommodate a variety of sexual positions and
combinations. Gemini condoms are sold in multipacks and come with a special
audio chip. Naturally, they're available through mail order. Frequently,
Gemini condoms sell two for the price of one. They always come in special
pop up dispensers so that you don't have to work too hard. Gemini is the
sign of the twins and Gemini condoms come in twin packs and are the preferred
model for double headers.
When you need to do it more
than once, you need Gemini condoms.
Cancer is a water sign and as such is very much interested in safety and
tradition. Therefore, Cancer condoms are waterproof and heat treated for
hot tubs and natural springs. Cancer condoms make you feel secure. Cancer
is also the sign of motherhood. With Cancer condoms, if you decide to become
a parent, you can always return the unused portion for a partial refund.
Cancer condoms are clingy. Never has history known a time when Cancer condoms
were not available. Fine antique specimens grace many collections. Astrologically
speaking, Cancer is associated with the breasts. The makers of Cancer condoms
are happy to sponsor the annual spring "Breast Worship Rituals." Cancer
condoms are freely dispensed to beautiful, large breasted women. Cancer
is symbolized by the crab.
When you're not getting
enough love and are starting to feel crabby, reach for a Cancer condom.
Leos are known for their passion, pride, and (pro)creative urges. Leos
tend to be a bit flashy, showy and original in and out of bed. Leo condoms
come in gold foil packaging with custom monogramming. Leo condoms come
in one size: extra, extra large. Leo is symbolized by the lion.
When you're ready to meet
your mate and make wild jungle noises, you're ready for a Leo condom.
Virgos are fussy and particular. Virgo condoms feature perfection of fit
and they keep you neat and clean. Virgos tend to be environmentally sound
consumer types. Naturally, Virgo condoms have the lowest failure rate,
the highest performance rating and come equipped with a detailed, all purpose
instruction manual. Virgo is symbolized by the virgin.
When you're ready for some
ritualized defloweration activities, you're ready for a Virgo condom.
Librans are suave and eager to please others. Libra condoms are the fancy
European models and come in fashionable hand painted designer packaging.
Libra condoms make for an elegant accessory on the best dates. Libra condoms
are aesthetically pleasing to both partners. They are reversible and can
turn into a diaphragm thus sharing the responsibilities. Libra is symbolized
by the scales.
When sex weighs heavily
on your mind, you want a Libra condom.
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